I may be a woman, but I’ve shoved my hands into enough fake vaginae (and read enough angry customer service emails and reviews at said fake vag purveyer) to know a lot more than a picture can convey to you about what these products are like. I also happen to know how to care for them so they don’t disintegrate or smell like burning tires, as well as some tips for purchasing better-quality products.
There are a few different types of pussy-like toys out there for men (commonly called “masturbators”) and knowing the difference between them can save you some time and money.
Plain Jelly Sleeves
There are a few issues with these toys to be aware of:
1. They often smell very strongly of plastic/chemicals when they come out of the box (and after you wash them).
2. The size of the toy makes a huge difference in how useful it is. Some are as small as 3″ and they really aren’t good for anything. If you make sure that the toy is as at least as big as your dick, you’ll be much happier.
3. The holes in these things are very small. For some, this provides a welcome amount of pressure; for others, it’s uncomfortable.
4. You should really only use water-based lubricants with these toys (Astroglide, Wet, ID, etc). Silicone and oil-based lubes can interact with these things and break down the material.
5. Keep these in a box or bag when you’re done with them. They can stain other items if they’re left in contact for a while.
Fancier Jelly Sleeves
Jelly toys, in general are slippery when wet and can be tough to keep a hold of if your hands have any lube on them whatsoever. Have a towel handy for post-lube traction (and whatever else you may need a towel for in that moment).
“Realistic” Skin Sleeves
These toys are pretty much without exception shaped like pussies, asses or mouths, at least at one end. They also include vibrating eggs much of the time. Perhaps you put these into the end of the sleeve (I’ve never been totally sure).
I lump the ever-popular Fleshlight in with these toys. The care and cleaning of them are all basically the same: use water-based lube, wash with mild soap, air dry or pat with a towel, store them apart from other toys. You can buy special powder that claims to keep them feeling just like new, but I don’t think it’s necessary.
Medium-sized Realistic Pussies
These toys are generally molded after a pornstar’s netherparts, come with vibrating eggs and often offer more than one orifice for your pleasure. These toys can be had for under $50 in many cases, but you do get what you pay for with this type of pussy.
Large Realistic Pussies
Again, stick with toys designed in the last 5 years or so if you want an optimal experience. This isn’t as much a problem for the medium-sized pussies because they are a recent invention, but these large molded genitalia have been around for a while and the older models have none of the softness that the new ones have.
Care for them is not as easy as with a sleeve. They don’t turn inside out, so you sometimes have to hold them up to a faucet to fully clean them out.
As always, if you have a personal point of view to share or want to ask a question, please go ahead and make a comment below!