Nice Work If You Can Get It

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Unless you’ve been galaxy hopping around the universe, you probably caught wind of the latest chapter in the train wreck life of Charlie Sheen. Embroiled in the most recent controversy is VideoBox favorite Kacey Jordan. Kacey hooked up with Charlie at his home last week, and departed with a $30,000 check. Sometime later, Charlie was rushed to the hospital with abdominal pain. Kacey claims the hospitalization was the result of a two day binge of alcohol and drugs. In a sprawling 69 minute commercial free interview, Kacey gave Howard Stern the details of her adventure with Charlie, as well as other events impacting the life of a simple, down home 22 year old working girl from Oregon. Click inside to hear the interview.

Images above courtesy of TMZ – Kacey arriving at bank, and afterward, cash in hand.

I’ve embedded the Howard Stern – Kacey Jordan interview audio which was posted to youtube in five parts by sterngeek, at the bottom of this post. Among the highlights:

– Kacey was promised $5000 for her visit with Charlie. When Kacey was ready to leave, Charlie asks if $25000 is good, then says we’re gonna make it $30000. Kacey takes check to the bank, and they verify it with Charlie. Bank gives her $8000 cash, and a voucher for the remaining $22000 (less a $15 fee).

– Characterizes Charlie as having an average 6″ dick with impressive girth. Voluntarily used condom (which Kacey would have insisted upon anyway). Kacey blew Charlie, he ate her out, and they fucked.

– Says Charlie is worth 380 million. He’s into porn, alcohol, and cocaine. A delivery of tennis ball size chunks of coke arrived at the house in Kacey’s presence. Charlie chipping off chunks of the coke, and smoking it in a mini green bong along with weed. Hitting the pipe every 2 – 5 minutes. Blowing smoke into Kacey’s mouth.

– Charlie spoke of buying an estate at 13100 Mulholland Drive, in which Kacey and a few other girls would live. Kacey would be given a Bentley, all the money she needed, and anything else she desired would be taken care of within the hour. The girls would be available to Charlie, as he pleased.

– Kacey started drinking at age 14, and considers herself an alcoholic.

– Earned $35,000 from an eight day excursion to Dubai, where she was fucked by an Arab Prince.

– Has earned over a million dollars in her career, and has about $100,000 in savings.

– Kacey babysat the children of Britney Spears, and fucked Kevin Federline in the kids playroom. He wore a condom and came inside her, but upon withdrawal, the condom was missing. Was several weeks late for her next period, and believed she was pregnant. Making tentative plans for an abortion, Kacey thinks she suffered a miscarriage a few weeks afterward.

– Kacey has had three abortions: (1) a loser from school, (2) a disgusting sugar daddy, and (3) a random guy from the Playboy mansion. Has them done in Oregon at $600 a pop.

– Just started doing anal. Planning on shooting a DP soon.

– Had a six month affair with Tommy Lee. Huge cock.

– Kacey has an anxiety disorder. She has threatened suicide on a couple of occasions, including this shocking tweet captured by Rumor Fix.

– Kacey tip: If you wake up with a bad hangover, you can fuck your way out of it.

Is Kacey as big a train wreck as Charlie? Let me know what you think. Hopefully, they’ll both get back on the straight and narrow posthaste. Here’s the Howard – Kacey interview.

Howard & Kacey part 1

Howard & Kacey part 2

Howard & Kacey part 3

Howard & Kacey part 4

Howard & Kacey part 5


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6 Responses to “Nice Work If You Can Get It”

  1. PinkPanther Says:

    Thanks – I found this to be one of the better Howard Stern interviews – well, up to the point that he had his sound effects guys playing fart sounds while he was asking Kacey about eating guys’ asses.

  2. zenemos Says:

    My quick thoughts:

    Kacey- Nothing that terribly surprised me. We always act rather surprised when we find out the details of a porn star’s life, but honestly I think most of them probably have screwed up lives, that’s why they’re making porn!!

    Charlie- Not surprising to me either. I chalk him up to another hedonistic celebrity who let fame and money go to his head. Lots of actors and singers seem to have gone this route (drugs, booze and loose women 24/7/365). I guess if I had enough money I didn’t have to do anything useful again for the rest of my life I wouldn’t blame them.

    The long and the short of it is that both stories seemed typical to me of the type of people they are. I guess it’s a sad commentary on our society, but who am I to judge?

  3. ropeadope Says:

    @ PinkPanther – Quite welcome. Lol, I guess on radio it’s helpful to use all available resources to give the listener a clear picture of what’s being discussed.

    @ zenemos – Thank you for your thoughts. I believe you have an accurate assessment of the situation. I’m hoping Kacey and Charlie can each slow things down a bit, otherwise I’m afraid things won’t end well. But, to borrow a phrase of yours, who am I to judge?

  4. deadip Says:

    I’ve read where Kacey Jordan spends some time out at The Bunny Ranch in Nevada from time to time also. As a matter of fact, I believe I read that right off The Bunny Ranch’s WebSite. So, nothing surprises me about what Kacey Jordan gets up to nowadays, even Charlie Sheen for that matter. Especially, after the Alexis Capri incident in that Hotel room in New York here a few months ago.

    I think, if you have the money to spend, there are a number of Pornstars one can have some fun with. Tiger Woods did, until he crashed his SUV there near his home in Florida, which led to his divorce from his very beautiful wife.

    As the saying goes, “Money Talks … Bullshit Walks” All anyone has to do is go to EuroBabeIndex, read the Forum there, and you kind find out what Pornstars do Escort Services and those that don’t.

    Now there is talk in the NEWS, that Majority Leader of the Senate, Senator Reed of Nevada would like to rid that State of the legal Prostitution Houses there. So, what else is new here??? Seems all old NEWS to me.

  5. DelusionalDeputy Says:

    How much coke did Charlie Sheen smoke?

  6. ropeadope Says:

    @ deadip – Yes, Kacey’s association with the Bunny Ranch was referenced in the interview. Ahh, some day ….

    @ DelusionalDeputy – Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.