Archive for the ‘lists’ Category

WMV Custom Clip Update!

Hey everyone,

We are aware that many of you are having problems downloading custom clips from WMV files. Some of the common issues we’ve observed include:

1. Custom clips downloads end up downloading an entire movie
2. Windows Media Player gives an error when trying to stream a custom clip
3. Custom clip playback issues

We’ve been working tirelessly to resolve this issue for the last week, and I’m happy to report that we’ve found a solution! We’ll be pushing out this fix and re-encoding the affected files. We expect all instances of this problem to be absolved by the end of this week. If any of you experience further issues downloading custom clips from WMV after the end of this week, please report your issues to Customer Support. In the meantime, you can continue downloading custom clips using the new custom clip method and downloading your clips in H.264 format. When using the new custom clip mode, simply select either the “iPhone” or “H264″ file format. Again, I apologize for the recent issues with WMV files — we definitely hear your reports of such problems, and our main priority is to ensure that you have the best user experience on Videobox.


Alison’s Guide to Bringing Porn Into Your Relationship

Are you in a relationship? Do you wish you could share your VB membership with your significant other, but aren’t sure how to introduce it? Porn, by its nature, is a pretty charged subject. In a relationship, it can be a minefield – but it can also be a great way to bond with your partner and take your sexual relationship to a new level. In this post, I’ll give you a few pointers for avoiding the mines and maybe even discovering a new way to connect with your partner (who I’ll be referring to as a female from here, but the advice applies to any gender).

Why do you want your woman to watch porn with you in the first place? Hopefully it’s so that she’ll get really turned on and want to fuck you silly. So the key is to figure out what’ll turn her on. One way to find out is to ask, but I fully realize that that’s kind of direct and may not yield any useful information. Here are some guidelines that may help if she’s not 100% comfortable spelling out the kind of videos she wants to watch yet.


Cute Girls in Soccer Socks

It’s World Cup time and you know what that means…soccer-themed porn! Unfortunately, I felt like this morning’s Soccer Girls didn’t quite satisfy the need to watch girls wearing soccer socks get nailed.

All is not lost, however. Below are scenes featuring footballing cuties getting a workout. Now you have something to do at halftime.

Six In Me, Scene 2

Goalie Jayna Oso is the soccer coach’s daughter. She’s approached by a group of gentlemen whom she initially expresses disinterest in, but they convince her to play “strip soccer.” And have gang bang.
Mamacitas #4, Scene 2
Mean old Mr. Pete stole Sativa Rose’s soccer ball. How’s she going to get it back? By screwing him in the bathroom, of course!
Teen Idol #7, Scene 4
Victoria White has a private soccer practice session with her coach, during which she runs some little drills and shows off her high school soccer experience. After practice, she and the coach get busy in the locker room.


Best of the Worst Titles Redux

In December ’09, I did a post about the best of the best awful porn titles on VideoBox. Since that time, Porn Valley has continued its fine naming tradition and we’ve continued to post movies with ridiculous titles – some funny, some gross, a few nonsensical.

Here are a few of my favorites from the last 5 months or so.

Hog Humpers
BBW videos always get stuck with the absolute worst titles. The most epic of all time is, of course, Fuck My Gut Butt. Which is probably not offensive if you have a gut butt? I’m not sure. But I will say that Hog Humpers leans a little more toward the mean side.

My suggestions for new, kindlier BBW titles: Rubenesque Romps, Zaftig Encounters and Full-Figured Fucks.
Relax, He’s My Step Dad
I will not relax, thank you. This is creepy as hell. And the pruny, bespectacled gentleman pulling down Gracie Glam’s shirt on the cover is skin-crawl inducing.

On a vaguely related note, someday Joey Silvera’s going to make a movie called Tranny Step MILFs. And when that day comes, you can congratulate me because that was my title. I gave him full permission to use it because I know it’s gonna be a huge hit.


10 Girls with Great Six Packs on VideoBox

Most porn stars have great lean bodies, but there are a few you can tell have really put in the hours with the Ab Roller to get their beautiful, muscular physiques. Below are ten videos that showcase some of the best well-toned abs on VideoBox. Please go ahead and share your favorite washboard-stomached stars in the comments!

Marie Luv

Vanessa Lane


English Porn Stars on VideoBox

I really love English porn stars. They’re often great dirty talkers – maybe it’s the accent – which can seriously turn up the heat in a scene. Here’s a list of all of the English gals you can find on VideoBox.

All images courtesy of our good friends at the Internet Adult Film Database. If I missed any, let me know in the comments!

mckenzielee isabelice roxannehall
McKenzie Lee Isabel Ice Roxanne Hall
roxyjezel nikkijayne flickshagwell
Roxy Jezel Nikki Jayne Flick Shagwell
hollywellin laylajade roxyrare
Holly Wellin Layla Jade Roxy Rare


The Dirty Words That Make Your Comments Disappear

Comedian George Carlin did a now-infamous bit in 1972 called Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television where he used all of the words that Federal Communications Commission (FCC) decided that you can’t say on TV (shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits if you’re not familiar).

Sort of like the FCC, adult payment processors have a “blacklist” of words that can’t be used on a site that accepts their payment methods. Consequently, you can’t use any of them in a comments, descriptions or clip names on the site. If you try to post one in a comment, the comment will simply disappear.

The list is mainly made up of terms having with ladies who are not of legal age engaging in sexual activity, but there are some that may surprise you – and explain why your comments disappear for no apparent reason.

Pissed – Yes, pissed is the past-tense of piss and piss can mean pee, but it’s still not clear to me why pee is even that bad. Regardless, if you say something like “I’m so pissed that Daisy Marie got those hideous bolt-ons!” your comment will vanish into the ether.

Brother/Sister/Father/Mother/Son/Daughter – I realize that this is probably targeted at incest, but c’mon. They’re not even consistent! You can say mom or dad, but not mother or father? An example of a comment that would trigger this rule might be “Can you believe Jewel De’Nyle’s mother got into porn? She’s a swamp hag.”

Asleep/Sleeping/Sleep – I guess using these words in a porn context can be rapey, but it seems a bit over the top to me. The result, in any case, is that an innocent sentence like this wouldn’t make the cut: “Shucks, I’d sure like to sleep with Jenna Haze.”

Alcohol/Drunk – This is another one that can be rapey in the wrong context but doesn’t really accomplish much. You can talk about wanting to ply a young lady with beer or wine in order to force her to have sex with you (none of those words are on the list), but you can’t say something like “You would have to be drunk to think that Chasey Lain looks even semi-fuckable these days.”

I hope this list will help guide you when writing comments or describing clips. If your posts continue to disappear even though you’re not using words on this list or talking about raping kids, my advice to you is to quit using racial slurs or talking about “kotoran,” which is a term you should not Google. Ever.

10 Short-Haired Cuties

Spring begins a beautiful time of year when the things women wear start to get smaller and smaller. Short sleeves, short skirts…and for some, short hair. Even though short hair doesn’t look good on every girl, a few pull it off really well. Here are 10 such girls, in not-quite-random order, for your viewing enjoyment.

Missy Monroe


Six Black Porn Stars Who Love Cum

I think the best performers are the ones who give their all in a scene and relish the results. Girls who can’t wait for a mouth full of cum, who take a squirt in the eye with aplomb, who smile when they’re slurping up a big load.

Member Henry Raw inspired me to do a black themed post today, so I’ve rounded up 6 scenes with girls who I think take a cum shot like a champ. They’re all great performers and I think the videos I’ve chosen demonstrate their enthusiasm for jizz.

Havana Ginger

Alison’s Top 5 MILFs and Cougars – Vote for Yours

One of the most popular genres in porn right now is MILF/cougar. It’s actually one of the more recently developed, as the term became widespread in 1999 when Stiffler’s mom was identified as a MILF in American Pie. One of the earliest porn movies I know of in the genre was 2002’s M.I.L.T.F. #1 – still a decent film in my opinion, even by today’s standards.

What makes a good MILF? I think any woman in a MILF role should be over 35 (of course), very confident and beautiful in an elegant way, not a trashy way. You can tell when a woman has taken care of herself and knows what she wants. Twenty-somethings may be cute, but a MILF has experience and isn’t afraid to use it.

So with that in mind, I present my Top 5 MILF/Cougar performers (don’t forget to vote for yours at the end of the post):

1. Lisa Ann

Lisa Ann is, in my humble opinion, Queen of the MILFs. She started performing in 1993 at age 21 but left porn four years later over an AIDS scare. She made her comeback in 2005 and has become one of the most popular, recognizable MILF actresses in the business.